This could be the most important day of your life. The day you read the schedules for Foreigner and Counting Crows co-headlining with Live. For the new tours are more than just a few dates in chronological order in an easy-to-read font. The tours bring courage to those who know how to use it. Real men and women, leaders all, start each and every day off with a new tour.

Go ahead. Click on the schedules for Ben Harper in Australia, Britney Spears in Europe or Cave Catt Sammy in Fresno. Feel the power radiate from the screen, the sizzle as the energy moves along your optic nerve and impacts your frontal lobe. With The Smashing Pumpkins and Brian Wilson firing across the synapses, you’ll feel like a winner. Feel the rush as you grok the Tim Finn concert in Memphis on June 3rd. Feel the absolute power, the erotic sexuality of 32 Duran Duran dates scrolling down your screen. Your heart pounds to Me’Shell NdegéOcello. Your senses explode in pleasure unimaginable with Let’s Go Bowling.

As you move closer to the screen to see Joanna Connor and Jools Holland & His Rhythm & Blues Orchestra, your entire body starts to vibrate. Yes! You will make this day matter! You will go for the gold, grab the brass ring and go for the gusto! It’s Vonda Shepard, Dexter Grove and the “B.B. King Blues Festival 2000”. It means you’re in control, you’re in the driver’s seat, you shall lead while others follow, you will be victorious! Carpe Diem! Seize the day!

And be sure to tell us all about it tomorrow. Meanwhile, we’re going back to bed.