It’s called Lycanthropy, and this rare blood disease is fast becoming the most controversial issue within the music industry and may very well affect upcoming shows by Kid Rock, Mary Lou Lord and k.d. lang.

“Everyone should know the seven warning signs of Lycanthropy,” says Dr. Lawrence Talbot of the American Lycanthropy Society, the organization dedicated not only to the treatment of the disease, but also to educating Americans about the ailment. “Increased hair on the chest, palms and legs, a razor-like sharpening of the teeth, plus a tendency to howl at the full moon, as well as a craving for fresh meat while listening to Ozzie Osbourne CDs are all indications that one is suffering from Lycanthropy.”

Dr. Talbot is quick to add, “The only thing worse than being a victim, is being completely ignorant of the disease. It can drive even unsuspecting low paid temp workers to gig mania.”

Probably the biggest problem facing the concert industry in regards to this often fatal disease is the lack of understanding within the community. “No one wants to sit in the same section, much less in the seat next to a Lycanthropy sufferer,” reports one promoter. “However, for our summer season, which includes shows by Steely Dan and Alison Krauss & Union Station feat. Jerry Douglas, we’ve installed a special Lycanthropy room, complete with chairs that are welded to the floor, and chains firmly anchored in cement. Our concert hall is the only Lycanthropy-safe venue in the country.”

Meanwhile, the search for a cure continues. “Until we find a silver bullet, Lycanthropy will remain medicine’s dirty little secret,” says Dr. Warren Zevon of the London-based Weir, Wolf and Fang Medical Research Center. “Also, many of us think of sufferers as disheveled, wide-eyed lunatics. But I just saw a Lycanthropy victim sipping a mixed drink at a trendy uptown bistro. And his hair was perfect.”