“Sitting on the back stoop, taking a couple of pulls on the jug and looking at the night sky before I go to bed. What are you doing inside, Edna?”

“Looking at all the tour dates on Pollstar.com, like KORN, and Carlos Vives. Before you call it a night, why don’t you tell me which ones you want to see?”

“Edna? You may not believe this but there’s a gigantic, saucer-shaped craft floating over the cabin out here.”

Buju Banton and Guttermouth are also coming, Clem. Clem? Are you still awake?”

“I think the spaceship is going to set itself down right here in the holler.”

“How about Duran Duran? We haven’t seen them in ages.”

“Land sakes alive, Edna! The aliens are coming out of the ship and they look like… like…”

“Or would you rather see Wang Chung or Loverboy, Clem? Clem? Have you already gone to bed?”

“Holy Moley! The alien captain looks just like Britney Spears!”

“Britney? We just saw her last week. How about Christina Aguilera? She’s coming next month.”

“Edna! The whole ship is filled with beautiful women!”

“Is that a yes on Christina?”

“They say that there’s no men on their planet and that I’m the only male in the universe that’s genetically compatible with them. They say they need me to propagate their species.”

“Does that mean you won’t be around next month? Then how about Jimmy Buffett? He’ll be here in August.”

“Edna! They’ve hooked me up to some kind of contraption that will spread my DNA to all the women on their planet. The captain’s about to throw the switch and… and…”

“That’s not an answer, Clem.


“I’ll need an answer before you go to bed. Do you wanna see Jimmy or not?”


“Then it’s settled. Do you want pavilion or lawn, Clem? Clem?? Are you asleep already? Hrrmph. Isn’t that just like a man?”