Tours de Farce: How Firm Is Firm?
Yes, even the “firmest” of dates can, and often do change. According to Einstein’s Theory of Concertivity, a date isn’t firm until the “hypothetical event planned for an act such as Girls Room or Iron Maiden, otherwise known as ‘E,’ bonds with the location of the music venue or ‘M.’ At that point the show moves out of the tentative zone and into the reality known as the concert or ‘C.’ Square that and you have a firm date.”
Heady stuff for an industry that once relied on dart boards, magic eight balls and occasional games of three card Monte down on the waterfront to set tour schedules. However, it still doesn’t reveal a concrete definition for today’s tours such as
“We once felt that the only thing firm in the concert industry was death and service charges,” says booking agent Maguire. “But there are ways to reduce service charges.”
“We’re working on it,” answers Maguire. “Right now, consider it tentative.”