“Hey, Carl. You might want to look at this. I think I’ve found a new comet in sector G. Carl? Carl??”

“Uh? You say something, Stephen?”

“I said, I think I found a new comet.”

“Oh yeah? I just found some new dates for Sarah Brightman and Elastica on Pollstar.com.”

“Hmm, on second thought, I don’t know if it’s a comet or an asteroid.”

“And 311 has some new dates for October.”

“Now that I have a better view, I think there’s two objects out there, an asteroid and a spaceship.”

“Wow, would you look at all these dates. I’ll bet there’s billions and billions of shows, like John Hammond and Koko Taylor & Her Blues Machine.”

“And it looks like the spaceship is guiding the asteroid.”

“Hey, Stephen. You wanna see James Intveld?”

“Yes, it looks like there’s an alien mothership guiding the asteroid and it’s heading our way.”

“Or would you rather see blink-182 or The Beautiful South?”

“It definitely looks as if the spaceship is guiding the asteroid. Looks like it’s going to collide with Earth, effectively ending life as we know it.”

Merle Haggard is playing Tucson on September 16th. That should be a good show and… What did you say about an asteroid?”

“I said an alien spaceship is guiding an asteroid to crash into the Earth.”

“So, we’re all going to die?”

“That pretty much sums it up.”

“Before or after the Merle Haggard concert on September 16th?”

“Let me check my calculations. Probably after, as long as he starts on time.”

“Whew. For a second you really had me worried.”