We have to be honest, we didn’t really expect to see your face in the place. We thought you’d be spending the three-day weekend camping, or cutting loose on the beach. We’re really surprised that you found time for Pollstar.com today.

Not that we don’t appreciate your patronage. We’re more than happy to serve up the best tour database in the known universe. Here’s the latest for Revolucion 2000 and Gaza Strippers, submitted for your approval, of course.

Are you going to any shows this weekend? There’s plenty to choose from, including Neil Young in Chicago, The Allman Brothers Band in Long Beach and Creed at Jones Beach, outside New York City. After all, you don’t want to spend the weekend in a room by yourself looking at a computer monitor, do you?”

What’s that? Couldn’t get a date? No one invited you to that big BBQ all your friends are attending? Uh? No friends? Not even a casual acquaintance? Not to worry. We’ll be your friend during the weekend. Day or night, we’ll deliver the goods as you point and click your way through dates for Elliott Smith, Amazing Crowns and Charlie Daniels Band. That’s right. We’ll be tour buds.

Yes, we’ll be your cyber companion during this holiday weekend. We’ll keep you company and try to get your mind off of all the fun you could be having at your local nightclub, ballpark, music theatre, or nude beach or… or….

Oh, look at the time. Something has come up that requires our undivided attention. Sorry about all this, but it looks like we have to leave early. You see, we just got some bad nudes, er… We mean news. Or something like that. We’re sure you’ll understand. Here, why don’t you take a look at Limblifter and Lee Greenwood while we’re gone.

And be sure to turn off the monitor when you’re finished. Okay?