“Hi, George. How was your Labor Day Weekend?”

“It was great. I took the wife up to Lake Tahoe and we spent the three days water skiing during the day and gambling in the casinos at night. Won almost three grand. It was the best weekend we ever had. And you?”

“Great weekend, Roger. I spent Saturday looking up all the new tour data for Bjorn Again and BR5-49 on Pollstar.com.

“That took you all day?”

“You know how it goes on the Net. One thing leads to another and pretty soon I was browsing the schedules for Hank Williams III and Kool & The Gang. Then that led me to see what was happening in San Francisco and San Diego. And before I knew it, the day was over.”

“Uh, uh. What about Sunday?”

“Neal McCoy, Peter Green Splinter Group and Susan Tedeschi.”

“Lemme guess. Pollstar.com?”

“You got it, George. One of the best Sundays I ever had.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask what you did on Monday.”

“I spent the morning reading the Soulfly schedule. In the afternoon it was co-headlines, like the Faith Hill / Tim McGraw tour, and last night I topped it all off with The Young Dubliners, Quiet Riot and Junior Brown.”

“You spent the entire three-day weekend behind your computer looking up tour information on Pollstar.com?”

“Yep! Recharged the old batteries. I’m ready to take on the world. Bring it on! Let’s sue someone!”

“That was it? That was your entire weekend?”

“Well… There was that moment that Anne Heche showed up at my front door.

“Uh?”

Yeah, she mumbled something about the mothership being late again, then said I was the most attractive man she had seen in over three years.”

“When did this happen?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Saturday, maybe Sunday. It was around the time I was looking at the Cracker schedule.”

“What did you do?”

“Gave her a drink and sent her on her way.”

“What? A famous Hollywood actress knocks on your door and you sent her away? Just so you could look at some tour schedules?

“Sure. I do have my priorities. But I did have one regret as I watched her walk away, her little waif-like figure floating off into the night like a magical enchanted princess.”

“I knew it. What?”

“She took my glass with her.”