“Hey, Tom, come on in.”

“Say, I heard about what happened yesterday. Too bad.”

“I’ll say. Campus police broke down the door, and arrested me for posting MP3s of Deftones and AC/DC on my FTP site.”

“I heard they took everything.”

“That’s right. Including my computer, monitor, mouse pad, and my MP3 collection of Phish, blink-182 and Neil Young.”

“They took your monitor? What good is that going to do them?”

“They said they took it because it was the monitor I used to look at the Barenaked Ladies MP3 files. Took my glasses, too.”

“Your glasses? That’s ridiculous. Anything else?”

“Let’s see. They took the chair I was sitting in when I ripped that Stone Temple Pilots CD and posted the files on Napster.”

“That sounds like the campus P.D. I’m surprised they didn’t take the pants you were wearing when you downloaded those KISS files from Gnutella.”

“They did. I’m wearing my roommate’s jeans. They also took my Diamond Rio player and the stereo system that I used to listen to all The Tragically Hip CDs I burned.”

“Sounds like they really cleaned you out. Tell you what, let’s go down to the coffee shop. My treat.”

“Sure, but I’m waiting for my roommate to come back from Wal-Mart. I sent him over there to buy me some new underwear.”

“Underwear? Now I’ve heard everything. They took your underwear, too?”

“Oh, they didn’t take my underwear. I had to give that to the judge at my arraignment.”

“Uh? Why?”

“How else could I file a pair of briefs in my defense?”