Whew! I’ve been really busy today. What’s that? The other employees? They can’t talk to you right now. They’re a little tied up.

You see, my boss is away at a Pop.com rummage sale, and guess what? She left me in charge! That’s right, Irving’s moving up the corporate ladder. I guess all that brown-nosing, desk snooping and snitching really paid off.

But it’s not easy being the boss. First of all, you have to delegate the work. Just this morning I had to decide who would enter the new dates for Peter Murphy, when the P.O.D. schedule would be updated and who should review all the new European dates for Low. Gosh, I never realized how demanding absolute power can be.

But I will succeed. I’ll show them what I’m made of. I’ll answer the phones, sign for the shipments, eavesdrop on conversations and check my co-workers browser bookmarks to make sure they’re not looking at anything their not supposed to be looking at. Of course, I still have to enter dates for John Hammond, Henry Rollins and GWAR, but that comes with the territory. Just part of the job when you’re the head honcho.

And I’m sure that when my boss gets back, everyone will tell her that it was a pleasure to work for me, and that I’m definitely corporate material. They’ll tell her that Irving can do more than just enter dates for Slash’s Snakepit and David Copperfield. They’ll tell her that I’m management bound. A born leader. A wunderkind!

In fact, I’m sure they’d be more than happy to tell you that themselves, but they’re a little busy. Well, I’ve gotta get back to running this place. There’s so many things to do here before you can leave for the day. Especially when you’re in charge and everyone else is tied up.

Which reminds me, if I don’t forget to untie them, I’ll be in deep doo-doo.