“This is interesting.”

“Good news in the morning’s paper, Horace?”

“Great news, Sophia. Gas prices are going up again. Our oil companies are going to make out like bandits this year.”

“That’s good, dear. What should we do with the profits?”

“I was thinking of investing in the lumber industry.”

“Lumber? I thought you said there wasn’t a high enough profit margin in lumber.”

“That’s in this country, Sophia. I’m looking at a lumber company in Lithuania. No replanting.”

“Sounds good, dear.”

“Hmm. What do we have here? Eddie Vedder is appearing at a fundraiser for Ralph Nader.”

“Ralph? Is he still around?”

“Well, it is an election year.”

“Oh, that’s right. Where’s Eddie playing?”

“It says here that the benefit is at Madison Square Garden. Ani Di Franco and Ben Harper will be there too.”

“Sounds smashing. And it will give me an opportunity to wear my new mink. When is it?”

“Next Friday.”

“Oh, dear. The chauffeur has next Friday off. Traffic school, remember?”

“By Jove, I forgot all about that. What’s he going for this time?”

“Failure to wear a seat belt.”

“Then how will we get there? We can’t be seen driving our own Rolls. It just wouldn’t be proper.”

“What about one of the autos in your classic car collection, Horace? You know how much I love the ’59 Corvette.”

“It’s being refitted with a larger gas tank. Besides, you know how I feel about driving one of my vintage autos in Manhattan at night.”

“Oh, dear. This is a dilemma.”

“I’ve got it! I know the perfect car to drive to the Ralph Nader fundraiser. Please pass me the phone so I may call my brother.”

“You’re calling your brother? Why?”

“So we can borrow his ’64 Corvair.”