So what have we here? It looks like 2 Skinnee J’s; have you seen their live show? Baby, you’d be amazed. Check out Brad Mehldau over here and Evan Dando over there. It’s like I’m pulling these itineraries out of thin air.

I know you can’t get enough. You always want some more. Maybe The Saw Doctors and Mustard Plug are what you’re lookin for. Yeah, you’re always chillin, you’re a real cool breeze. Why don’t you come hang out with the Pollstar homies.

We work real hard and use more brains than muscle, then at lunch time we line up and do The Hustle. Hey, I’m just goofin, playin you for a fool. We really bust out the cardboard and break dance old school.

This is a crazy way to make a livin, you know what I mean. We’re givin it up for Ocean Colour Scene. I know this rhyme is wack and it’s time for me to go ’cause this place is more freaky than a Kool & The Gang show.

Y’all got me wound up and I’m feelin’ kinda dizzy, but here comes the boss so I gotta look busy. Thanks for your attention. I’ve fulfilled my obligation to bring you all the up-to date tour information.