We’ve been up all night, drinking cheap gin and looking over the itineraries for Al Jarreau and Rita Coolidge while we contemplated the campaign. We’re way past denial and we’re starting to move into acceptance. Even so, as we look over the new dates for Nina Gordon, we can’t help but think if things could have been different.

Maybe we should have kept a closer watch on our illegal immigrant workers, the 500 Canadians we smuggled across the border in a donut truck in order to process tour data for Bryan Adams, Barenaked Ladies and Kim Mitchell. We told them who to vote for, but something may have been lost in the English to Canadianese translation.

Maybe we could have traded a few more Nader votes on the Net. Or perhaps we should have promised free tickets to see the JazzTrax Christmas Tour. After all, no one expects you to keep political promises, do they? It’s not as if you were lying.

Like most major dot-coms, Pollstar firmly believes in the “united we stand” concept, and instructs all of its employees on how to vote. And to make it easier, all of us voted by absentee ballot. Not only does this keep everyone in the office entering the latest info for acts like Cheap Trick and the Pat McGee Band on election day, but it also ensures against any slipups, like voting for the other guy. But despite our best efforts, our man still lost.

But the business of America is business. We’ll put our political differences aside, step up to the plate and shake the hand of the new man in charge. We’ll take him out to see Lisa Loeb, keep him up-to-date on Trans-Siberian Orchestra and even give him a heads up when Sting tickets go on sale. For despite who won yesterday, this is still the good ol’ US of A. We know on which side our bread is buttered. And believe you me, no one sucks up to authority better than we do.

Gosh, it makes us proud to be Americans.