I am. I’m always lucky. Take these tickets for Joe Satriani, for example. I picked them up yesterday when I lifted a wallet off this guy downtown. Now that’s luck.

Or how about these Dixie Dregs tickets? That’s right, front row center. Found them in a purse I snatched from a lady as she was getting off the subway. You know, I couldn’t make up my mind whether to go for her purse or this other woman’s bag. But when I saw that cast and crutches, I knew she was the lucky one.

It seems that no matter what I do or where I go, I’m always lucking out and finding some concert tickets. I hotwire a car and there’s tickets for Scarface in the glove compartment. Or I bust into a funeral parlor and find a pair of Meat Puppets tickets left on a coffin. Yeah, I was the lucky stiff that night.

Of course, there are some times when I’m not so lucky. Like last summer when I was stealing people’s pets to sell as experimental lab animals to cosmetic companies. While I was snatching a family’s schnauzer I found a pair of Diana Ross & The Supremes tickets lying next to the mutt’s water dish. But when I got to the show I thought my luck had run out on me when I discovered that my seats were 24 rows from the stage, right behind the high-priced gold circle section. On the other hand, no one was sitting in front of me, so I guess I was pretty lucky after all.

But I think I’m at my luckiest when I’m at concerts. You know that moment in every show when the music really starts to groove and everyone is on their feet dancing and clapping? That’s when I go through all their coats and purses left on the seats. Like last night’s Anne Murray show where I scored tickets for SR-71, The Derek Trucks Band and Aimee Mann. Just the luck of the draw, I guess.

So the next time you’re at a concert, maybe Delbert McClinton or Prince, and you’re dancing to the music, look around and see if the guy next to you is sitting down. And if he is, feel free to introduce yourself. That very well could be me.

That’s if you’re lucky.