It’s amazing how people turn out. Take my old roommate, Bill, for example. He never skipped a class to see Sting. Heck, he never even blew off an exam to catch a good club show like Cabaret Diosa or The Jimmie Van Zant Band. All he ever did was study. Where did it get him? CEO of a multibillion dollar industrial conglomerate. Go figure.

Then there’s Claudia, who lived across the hall from me in the dorm. With her it was study, study, study. She ended up with five college degrees and a patent on the motion-powered artificial colon. You might have caught her last year when Intestinal Fortitude Magazine featured her on the cover. After a couple of tequila shooters she confided to me that she’d give it all up if she could see Michael Martin Murphey and Great White.

As it turns out, several people in my graduating class went on to change the world. Many of them became doctors, lawyers, congressmen, even movie stars. And as the night went on, we started talking about the old days, and how I skipped mid-terms in order to drive into the city to see Ashley MacIsaac and Enon. They reminded me about the time I sold my text books during the first week of the semester in order to buy Quiet Riot tickets. And they hinted that they knew I was going to be a failure because I was always going to concerts like Roger Whittaker and Warren Zevon instead of cracking the books. Yeah, they really poured it on thick. That is until…

Until I told them I collect tour dates for

Needless to say, they were impressed. They asked me about Marvelous 3, Nothingface and Widespread Panic. They asked if it was true about Barry Manilow and they even asked if I could get them some free tour schedules. Yes, things change when people learn you’re the master of the largest tour database on the planet. Even Claudia was impressed, and said she’d name her next project, the Teflon-coated solar-powered sphincter, after me.

I guess we all have our own callings. We all choose which one of life’s roads to follow. My classmates chose to study, cram for finals, and kiss the dean’s backside, while I skipped classes and saw Southern Culture On The Skids and Nina Gordon. It’s kind of sad once you think of it. When I look back over my old college days, I remember how earnest and righteous my classmates were, and I just can’t help but wonder.

Where did they go wrong?