“A present? For me? What’s the occasion, Bill?”

“You mean, you don’t know what day this is?”

“Lessee… The 31st anniversary of The Stones playing Altamont?”

“No. It’s…”

“Don’t tell me, let me guess. It’s the day Pollstar.com posted some more Sammy Hagar dates. You bought tickets for the Red Rocker? Oh, Honey! Wait until I tell the girls in my single malt club. They’ll be so jealous.”

“Uh, no, it’s not that either.”

“It’s not? Well, it can’t be Tom Waits’ birthday, because that’s tomorrow. Besides, he’s not touring. Oh, I know. You bought tickets for that big Wyclef Jean Foundation benefit at Carnegie Hall, featuring Eric Clapton, Whitney Houston and Destiny’s Child. Oooh, Honey, that’s a great show.”

“No, I bought…”

“You bought tickets for the Target Stars On Ice with Tara Lipinski, Kristi Yamaguchi, Scott Hamilton plus many other famous skaters whose names I can’t pronounce? Pollstar.com just posted the dates today.”


“I got it! You’re taking me to England to see Ronan Keating! I just saw the new dates on Pollstar.com today. My horoscope was right. I knew today was going to be special.”

“No, we’re not going to England.”

“Then it must be Tanya Tucker at the Crazyhorse Saloon in Irvine tonight.”

“No, it’s not that either.”

“Then what is it?”

“Come on, it’s December 6th. Doesn’t that ring any bells with you? Think back 25 years ago. You, me, and the preacher? Your mother?”

“I’m sorry, Honey, but I haven’t a clue.”

“It’s our wedding anniversary. We got married 25 years ago today. I can’t believe you couldn’t remember that!”

“Oh, Honey, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just getting old.”

“Twenty five years, 15 kids, 12 dogs, 11 cats, nine gerbils, seven leather harnesses and a mortgage, and you still couldn’t remember our anniversary.”

“Cheer up, Honey. It’s not that bad.”

“It’s not?”

“No. At least I remembered the important stuff.”