“Hi, Ralphie. I didn’t expect to see my neighbor here.”

“Oh, hi, Fred.”

“My, weren’t you the mad dog last night? All that howling and barking. What got in to you?”

“My human went out and left me alone.”

“Again? It wasn’t another concert, was it?”

Brooks & Dunn. Plus, tonight he’s going to see , and I hear he’s also got tickets for Dave Mason Band and Bon Jovi next week.”

“That’s gotta be tough.”

“You said it. I mean, I don’t mind if he occasionally goes out for a show, maybe Sawyer Brown or Toby Keith, but this three or four shows a week business has got to stop.”

“Maybe it’s human mating season. That could explain a lot of things.”

“With humans, every season is mating season. That’s still no excuse for leaving his best friend home alone while he’s seeing Eminem and KISS. A dog needs his human, ya know.”

“I know.”

“I wait all day for my master to come home, but lately it’s been a quick trip to this park before he heads out for a night on the town. Last week he saw The Sisters Of Mercy and Rickie Lee Jones, and he’s already talking about Green Day for next month.”

“So I can look forward to a lot of howling and barking in the weeks to come. Have you ever thought of… well, you know… getting the boys clipped? It did wonders for me.”

“Not my style. But this being left home alone sure is getting to me.”

“I’m sure it is.”

“I mean, lying on the floor and licking yourself gets old after awhile.”

“Don’t knock it, Ralphie. That’s one advantage we have over humans. I think it’s what separates the dogs from the masters. Imagine what the world would be like if they could do it too.”

“My master? Ha! He’d never get out of the house.”