The prices are so low, you’ll think you’re stealing from us. Could savings like these actually be legal?

Did you know that wearing this Backstreet Boys shirt while holding a couple of grand in your hand will cover the cost of a contract in Tulsa, Oklahoma? Now, that’s a shirt! Not to mention the impression you’ll make on witnesses come line-up time. (Hint: Scowl and act as if you know where they live. Works every time!)

Have you checked out the KISS shirts? Those shirts saved our necks when we were in prison. You slap Gene, Paul, Ace and Peter on your chest and you’ll get nothing but respect. Just ask the guys back at cellblock 9. By the way, we were innocent. $16 per.

It would be a crime to pass up the Britney Spears shirts. God, how we wish we had these shirts when we did a stretch in solitary. Available in sizes extra large, medium and small.

Now here’s a hot item. We’ll never forget that night in the yard when we caught up with Sam the Stoolie. We snuck up behind him and wrapped the ‘N Sync T-shirt around his head, then pummeled him with our fists until he stumbled blindly about the yard, catching the attention of the armed guards in the towers. Sheesh, what a mess. Luckily, the shirt survived. Available in sizes medium, large and extra large.

Yeah, we’re moving merch in the front door and hustling it out the back. Cough up a few bucks and some of it could be yours. You know; if this stuff gets any hotter, the place might burn down. But you didn’t hear us say that.