“I’m trying, Fred. Let me tell you, it hasn’t been easy.”

“I’ll bet.”

“Keeping a resolution like this is almost next to impossible, but I’m going to do it. I just have to be strong.”

“That’s the spirit, Harry.”

“Especially with Dee Dee Ramone and Slash’s Snakepit playing next week. Or Jeff Beck, and moe. in February.”

“Hang in there, Harry. I know you can do it. I have faith.”

“Thanks, Fred. This hasn’t been easy, but I know I can keep this resolution. You see, the trick is in the scheduling.”


“That’s right. I’ve got it all figured out. I’ll see They Might Be Giants the first part of February, then Dave Koz and The Everly Brothers the first week of March. Of course, Social Distortion and Southern Culture On The Skids are both playing the same night. That’s gonna be a tough one.”

“Harry, just what are you talking about? I thought you were trying to cut down on concerts.”

“Oh, no, Fred. That was last year.”

“It was? But you saw shows all year long.”

“I know. That’s why this year my resolution is to see every show that comes to town, including matchbox twenty, Eve 6 and Leon Russell.

“That’s gotta cost some bucks.”

“It ain’t cheap. I just hope I can keep my other resolutions as well as this one.”

“What other resolutions?”

“Well, my second resolution is to make sure my son earns his own college education.”


“Of course, I haven’t told him that I spent his college fund on a week’s worth of U2 tickets.”

“You are truly unbelievable, Harry. I suppose your third resolution is having your wife find a job.”

“Oh, no, Fred. I wouldn’t do that.”

“Well, maybe I misjudged you.”

“She already has a job. But I am coaching her on how to get a raise. My third resolution is to talk my dad into coming out of retirement. No, I think that’s my sixth resolution. Right after my resolution to recycle toilet paper. That should free up enough cash to see Erykah Badu. Then there’s resolution number 9…”