House Of Brrr! Productions is proud to announce, that despite the lack of big name entertainment like Green Day and Lorrie Morgan, its winter carnival, Freezing Man, was a huge success. HOB reports attendance at the festival, where people gather each year to erect a giant snowman, reached almost 21 comrades, marking nearly a 50 percent increase over last year’s festival.

In other news, One Channel Radio, owner of republic-wide promoter, SFXski, has announced its plans for the spring concert season. The promotion company plans on begging to appear in June, pleading for George Clinton & Parliament / Funkadelic to play in July and will promise a healthy pig and four months of heating oil in exchange for a performance by Cravin’ Melon in August. While SFXski has yet to hear back on the offers, there are rumors that Insane Clown Posse will consider playing if the offer is raised to five months of heating oil. However, the band insists on checking out the pig before any contract is signed.

Everyone in Siberia is excited about the announcement of the upcoming music extravaganza, Rock In Gulag. This three-day festival may or may not feature such stars as Charlie Daniels Band, U2 and Bob Dylan, and will definitely be the highlight of the summer season, tentatively scheduled to start on August 8th, weather permitting. Tickets will be available at all TicketCossack locations.

Finally, online music distributor,, has struck licensing agreements with all major record labels. While details of the agreements are not known, it is rumored that will pay millions of rubles to each label in return for the rights to stream music by major acts, such as Chad Brock, Backstreet Boys and Tanya Tucker, to its customers. Speaking from his prison cell, MPFreeze founder, Mikhail Robertsonov said his company would resume service as soon as Siberian technicians figure out who misplaced the modem.

And that is all the news we’re permitted to report from Mother Russia. From Siberia, this is correspondent Igor Petrov. Absolut!