“Okay, people, the situation’s getting intense. We don’t have enough power to go around, so we have to decide who gets cut off for a few hours during these rolling blackouts. Yes, Harry?”

“Well, Boss, I figure if we cut off the schools for at least 90 minutes, we’ll have enough power for moe. at the Fillmore next week.”

“Good, but what about that Elton John / Billy Joel co-headline at the Oakland Arena? That’s gonna take some juice.”

“We’re still working on that. But the good news is we’ll have enough power for Southern Culture On The Skids and that Live From The 215 show as long as the hospitals stick to their agreement to cut back on their defibrillator usage and kidney dialysis by 50, maybe 55 percent.”

“Sounds like a plan. Yes, Lucy?”

“Conserving power for shows coming up in the next couple of week is fine, Boss, but what about putting a little in the energy bank for shows this spring?”

“You mean, like U2 and Keb’ Mo’?”

“Exactly. If we don’t start planning ahead, we’re going to start seeing brown-outs during the shows this spring by David Cassidy, Barney’s Musical Castle and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how much trouble that will cause.”

“If you’re talking about riots and general mayhem, then I agree. Does anyone have any suggestions? Yes, Larry?”

“What about an advertising campaign urging our users to cut back on using their electrical appliances like microwave ovens, food processors and tofu regurgitators?

“Hmmm, I don’t know.”

“Larry may have something, Boss. We do a heavy TV saturation; maybe public service announcements on each network affiliate as well as the big cable channels like MTV, CNN and MSNBC. That might convince people to conserve enough power for The Everly Brothers and Jeff Beck.”

“You’re proposing that we convince people to cut down on personal usage by advertising on television? Meaning, if they watch enough TV, they’ll use less electricity?”

“Right, Boss.”

“Works for me. Harry, call Marilyn Manson and Sarah Harmer and see if they’re willing to be celebrity spokespersons.”

“You got it, Boss.”

“And, Lucy?”

“Yes, Boss?”

“Call Richard Gere again and see if he can part with a few more gerbils for the main treadmill. It’s gonna be a cold night.”