“Hi, Sheila. Are you still hanging with the Outkast tour?”

“You bet, Mary. I just can’t get enough of those dates and cities. I never would have dreamed how satisfying a long tour could be.”

“I know what you mean. When I first started spending time with the Ratdog tour, I was amazed at how long it could get.”

“Oh, I knew that the long tours were better, but no one had ever told me about the lasting power.”

“Pretty incredible, uh? I remember when I got my first long tour, The Oakridge Boys. It would go on for days and days. I thought I had died and gone to heaven.”

“You’ve had more than just a couple of long tours?”

“I’ve been around. You name ’em, Charlie Daniels Band, U2 and David Gray, I’ve had them all. They were all long and they were all very, very pleasing. Oh, look, here comes Harriet.”

“Hi, Mary, Sheila. What are two you ladies talking about today?”

“Sheila and I were comparing tour lengths.”

“That again? Won’t you ever learn?”


“Look, Sheila, No matter what Mary tells you, there’s more to a good performance than the length of the tour.”

“Don’t listen to her, Sheila. Harriet is jealous because lately she’s been keeping company with the Guns N Roses tour.” It’s only three dates long.”

“It will get bigger when it’s ready.”

“You hope. Trust me, Sheila, a girl needs a tour that’s fat and long, like Dio or B.B. King.”

“Mary, Sheila, you have it all wrong..”

“We have it all wrong? Then why don’t you tell us all about it, Miss Know-It-All?”

“Sure, ladies. It’s not the length of the tour that matters. It’s the skill of the musicians.”