“You wanna go a little easy on that stuff? That’s your third within the last half hour.”

“I know. I’m drinking to forget.”

“Oh? Love affair gone south?”

“Big time. I really thought Sheila was going to be the one for me.”

“What happened? That is, if you don’t mind my asking.”

“No, I don’t mind at all. It was sex.”

“She just wasn’t interested?”

“Oh, no. She loved sex.”

“And that was a problem?”

“The problem was, it had to be during a concert.”

“Uh? You mean like They Might Be Giants?”

“That’s right. Under the bleacher seats while the support act was playing.”

“How about Stereo MC’s?”

“Parking lot near the loading dock.”

“Godsmack and Fishbone?”

“Janitor’s closet and first aid center.”

“Last year’s Ozzfest?”

“All over the place. In fact, even Ozzy noticed. He said he learned three new positions that day.”

“Really? The Ozzman said that? I’m impressed.”

“Oh, there were some crazy times. No matter if it was Michelle Shocked, Goldfinger or Old 97’s, it was nothing but sex, sex and more sex.”

“And now it’s over?”

“Yep. I’m gonna miss her.”

“Sounds like you had one wild affair.”

“I haven’t told you the half of it.”


“Yeah. There were some times when she was insatiable. That’s when things really got strange. But I don’t think you wanna hear about that.”

“Try me.”

“Well… Okay. But lean over the bar, I don’t want anyone else to hear.”

“Okay. I’m listening.”

“Sometimes when she felt really frisky, like at Stuck On Evil or Maze feat. Frankie Beverly.”


“And she got so excited that she just couldn’t control herself…”

“Yeah? Yeah? Go on.”

“She let me watch.”