While it is already a given that the announcement of new dates for Tim McGraw or the Blue Collar Comedy Tour will affect events on the local level, researchers are just now coming to grips as to how new routings for bands like Heroine Sheiks or The Larkins can shape developments in the international arena as well.

Did England really conquer the dreaded foot-and-mouth disease, or did Prime Minister Tony Blair merely want to preserve that country’s summer concert season because he had front row tickets for The Robert Cray Band, The Black Crowes and Megadeth? If so, how do the new dates for Pist-On affect an ever-crumbling monarchy? Both the BBC and the London Times seem split on the issue, but the true answer lies within the new tours.

Meanwhile, here in America even the most stalwart journalists, such as Drudge, Limbaugh and Bell, missed the cause-and-effect mechanics between the revised routing for Backstreet Boys and the Fed lowering interest rates by one half percent. Although Wall Street seems to be scrambling to make sense of it all, the smart money has it that Greenspan will be sitting pretty this August, ogling Madonna from his private box at the MCI Center. Yes, the answers are there for the ones brave enough to comprehend the questions.

For example: Did the confusion over where John Mellencamp will perform on September 7 & 8 cause the FBI to misplace vital documents? Furthermore, did that foul-up cause a certain federal prisoner to suddenly extend his Pollstar Auto Notification account by one month? And what of the recent Supreme Court ruling over medical marijuana? Was it a firm interpretation of law, or was one of the justices just venting over the confiscation of his pack of Zig Zags at a Kenny G concert?

Amazing as it seems, when one looks past the headlines and reads between the dates, a person can almost connect all the dots and come to conclusions that no sane person would assume nor any mass media publication would ever dare to print. However, you can trust what you read in this space, for everything that appears here has been checked out, verified, then re-verified. We deal in nothing but irrefutable facts.

Besides, you’re reading this on the Web, so it must be true.