“I’m ready, Bill.”

“Now, pretend I’m knocking on the door. That’s your cue to ask, ‘who is it?'”



“Well, what?”

“Who is it?”

“I don’t know, Bill. Who is it?”

“No, Al, you’re supposed to say that.”

“Say what?”

“Who is it?”


“Just say it. Just say ‘who is it?'”

“Gotcha. Who is it?”

“It’s me, Bill. I’ve got the stuff man. I got the tickets for Buckcherry, Yes and Jethro Tull.”


“No, you’re supposed to say, ‘Bill’s not here.'”

“But, you’re right there.”


“You are, too. You’re standing right in front of me.”

“Oh, for crying out loud. Let’s try it again. I knock on the door, you say ‘who is it?’ and I answer, “It’s Bill, man. I got the tickets for Fuel and Skid Row. And then you say…”

“Are they good seats?”


“That’s too bad, Bill. You used to get the best seats when you were President. Remember when you had front row, center for Vince Neil and L.A. Guns?”

“Arrrgh! Let’s try it again. I knock on the door, I say it’s Bill and you say…”

“Come on in.”

“No! Look, Al. Remember when Hillary came looking for me while that intern was visiting me in the Oval Office? Remember what you used to say?”

“Uh… Bill’s not here?”

“Right! Now, let’s try it again. Knock, knock.”

“Who is it?”

“It’s Bill, man. I’ve got the stuff. I got the tickets for Asylum Street Spankers and Steel Pulse. Let me in.”


“Yeah, Bill, man. I also got the tickets for Vision Of Disorder, The Neville Brothers and Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Let me in, man, I think someone spotted me.”


“Yeah, Bill. Open the door and let me in.”


“Come on, you can do it. Remember the Oval Office, the intern and Hillary. I say ‘it’s Bill,’ and you say ‘Bill’s…'”


“Come on. Bill’s…”

“Bill’s messing around with the interns again. He asked that I tell you that he’s not here.”

“Al! You never said that to Hillary. Come on, stick to the script.”

“You’re right, Bill. I never said that to Hillary.”

“Good. Now, let’s take it from the top. Knock, knock…”

“I said that to Ken Starr.”