“Harry? Is that you? It’s me, Roger. Mr. Hand’s class, remember? How have you been? I heard you started your own company.”

“Yeah, but our stock took a dump and I lost everything.”

“Gee, I’m sorry. So, what are you doing these days?”

“I’ve spent the last six months locked in my basement, drinking cheap malt liquor and looking up tour dates on Pollstar.com. Did you know that R. Kelly is playing Minneapolis on July 11?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“And Stevie Nicks, M.O.D. and Tracy Lawrence are touring this summer.”

“I guess I missed that.”

“There’s a lot going on this summer, Roger. I have maps showing the routings for Tonic, Wheatus and Paddy Keenan hanging all over my basement. This is where the real action is.

“Sounds exciting.”

“Oh, it is. I gotta tell you, Roger, losing my company was the best thing that ever happened to me. I jump out of bed every morning, grab a cold one and boot up the computer in search of new tour dates. One day it’s Crowbar, another day it’s Catastrophic. Yeah, this is the life, just me, the 40s and Highway 101, Lorrie Morgan and Goldfinger.”

What kind of company did you have, Harry?”

“I started a business that recycled toilet paper. We had a fleet of trucks picking up used tissue from all parts of the city. You may have heard of us. ‘Re-Wipe.com?'”

“I think I saw your Super Bowl ad last year. So, what happened? Did the dot-com implosion sink your business?”

“Oh, no. Re-Wipe.com had plenty of customers. In fact, we were this close to becoming the official T.P. recycler for the Ozzfest 2001 tour. It was lack of supply that finished us. We just couldn’t convince enough people to recycle.”

“You mean…”

“That’s right. The bottom fell out of the market and everything went down the toilet.”