We recently increased our stock of high-quality concert apparel. There’s Papa Roach, Tool and Incubus T-shirts and hats sporting logos from Lynyrd Skynyrd and U2. Yes, we’ve got you covered for this summer’s concert season, and best of all, each T-shirt and hat, no matter if it’s blink-182, Slipknot or Backstreet Boys, is guaranteed Votron safe!

That’s right. You won’t have to worry about those deadly Votron rays seeping in through the hole in the Earth’s ozone layer when you’re wearing a T-shirt or hat from the Pollstar.com store. Say goodbye to those days when embarrassing Votron ray sores and lesions prevented you from seeing shows by Holly Cole and Green Day. If you were to buy the equivalent in over-the-counter Votron blocking creams and salves, it would cost you hundreds of dollars, but each and every T-shirt and hat in the Pollstar.com store is priced at a very affordable $16 per. Such a deal!

But it doesn’t stop here. Coming soon to the Pollstar.com store is the computer game everyone is talking about. Extreme RIAA pits the Recording Industry’s Hilary Rosen in a battle to the death against Napster’s Shawn Fanning. Packed with weapons, including flame-throwers, rocket launchers and high-priced lawyers, you’ll have hours of fun stamping out the song trading of major label acts like Eric Clapton and Madonna. For ages 9 and up.

Finally, the action figure you’ve been waiting for. Presenting the man who rules over Pollstar.com with an iron fist! The Sultan of Sting, the Dean of Discipline, the man who rewards the accurate reporting of dates for Acoustic Alchemy with cruellers and lays down the hurt on the misfortunate ones who misspell cities like Wagawagawaca, Minnesota. Yes, it’s our very own Giver of Donuts and Pain, Baron Von Richtoven! Each 12 inch figure is made of high-impact plastic and comes complete with maple bars and riding crop.

Votron ray protection, games and the Baron! Nothing but the best from the Pollstar.com store, the only tour dates Web site that promises free shipping! And remember, if we don’t have it…

You have no business asking for it.