“Coming right up. Say, aren’t you the mascot for that song trading company?”

“That’s right, I’m the Napster cat, but you can call me ‘Nappy.’ Thought I’d duck in here for some breathing room.”

“More copyright infringement problems?”

“That ain’t the half of it. If we’re not being sued by the record labels that have Neil Diamond and Ween, we’re being sued by the publishers on behalf of Phil Vassar, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and Spineshank.”

“Sounds tough.”

“Tough? That’s only part of the problem. That’s my face that comes with Napster. You want tough? Try maintaining a social life when your mug’s plastered on just about every computer in the world.”

“Well, you have become quite the celebrity over the past couple of years.”

“I mean, there I was at the in West Hollywood, having a couple of drinks with Cave Catt Sammy, when Lars walked in.”

“You mean Lars Ulrich from Metallica?”

“Is there any other? Heck, that chance meeting must have cost me at least three of my nine lives.”

“He’s just protecting his band’s music. You’re lucky Dr. Dre didn’t catch you.”

“That’s why I’m here. I just want to sip a drink, nurse my wounds and hope no one like Norman Blake or Ron Sexsmith recognizes me.”

“Not to worry. Your secret’s safe with me. But I gotta admit, I always thought you’d be taller.”

“That’s what a lot of people say, but the past few months have really been hell on my back. All that bending over since we hooked up with BMG, you know.”

“What’s next after the legal hassles are over? Is Napster ever going to come back online with a legitimate business model that pays the artists? Will your customers ever be able to trade songs by Bob Dylan and Janet Jackson without getting busted?”

“Who knows? Anyway, that’s gonna be someone else’s problem. Starting next week I have a new gig. I got a part on that mob show on HBO. I play a nightclub singer.”

“Uh? Isn’t your voice a bit too high and squeaky for a singer? Hey, wait a minute. Did you say ‘mob show?’ You don’t mean…”

“That’s right. After what the judge did to me last week, the only thing left for me to do is to start singing with The Sopranos.”