Is there anyone out there who appreciates the hard work and dedication, not to mention the voluntary, self-imposed celibacy each one of us endures as we go about our quest for the latest dates and cities for Brian McKnight and Ani DiFranco? Sure, anyone can post a schedule for Radiohead, but reaching in between the dates to tug and pull until one grasps the concert matter that binds the itinerary universe together is a gift in which few in this world are blessed.

We were but toddlers, so the story goes for we cannot remember that which we were too young to recollect, when our parents took us to see the Oracle in the alley. There, amidst the bottles, cans and used Better Than Ezra ticket stubs, the ancient one looked into our eyes. “The child shall seek tours,” she pronounced as she poured Schlitz Ice over our forehead. “Sevendust and Sigur Ros shall be this one’s destiny,” she cried as the cops pried her hands off of our shoulders and loaded her into the back of the patrol car. We still remember waving our farewells as the policemen took her away. “Goodbye, Grandma. We’ll miss you.”

Now, as we look out upon the sea of concert dates for Sons Of The Desert and Los Lobos we reflect upon our chosen path in life. We wander the strip mall parking lots and auto wrecking yards of Fresno, shouting out the names of booking agents and managers for Col. Les Claypool’s Fearless Flying Frog Brigade and Smokey Robinson in hopes of basking in the existential delight that can only be found in a chronological listing for Ween.

Does anyone understand us? Does anyone understand how bees fly, how service charges for 2 Live Crew and Neil Diamond are calculated or how booking agents book? We’ll continue to bring you the best tour data known to man, the dates, the cities, and yes, the venues for Mick Taylor, Laurie Anderson and Jazz Is Dead. And we’ll do it without a single worry as to whether or not anyone understands us.

That is, as long as you drop $16 on a hat or T-shirt at the store. Now that’s something we definitely understand.