Although the arrowhead is a recent find, the perfectly frozen concert fan, dubbed Icefan by the media, was discovered ten years ago within the melted remains of a glacier behind Denver’s Red Rocks Amphitheatre. Even more amazing than the perfectly preserved 8,000-year-old body, was that its right hand was clenched around a pair of petrified tickets to a Keith Richards in-store performance. This caused scientists to speculate that Icefan was the prehistoric forerunner of today’s music fans who line up each day for concert tickets for acts such as Suzanne Vega and Rebecca Parris.

Life was different when Icefan roamed the Earth. The Egyptians had yet to build the pyramids, the Phoenicians were still experimenting with service charges and the Sumerians were just beginning to lay the groundwork for gold circle seating. “You look at Icefan and you see the beginnings of the modern concert industry,” says world-renowned concertpologist, Dr. Bernard Rubble. “If Icefan was alive today, he’d feel right at home walking almost upright through the turnstiles to see Megadeth or Judas Priest. Yes, Icefan is a truly remarkable specimen from our past.”

But was Icefan any different than today’s fans that make up the audiences for Kim Wilson’s Blues Review and the Edwin McCain Band? Was he a descendent of Nederlander Man? Or was he an offshoot of Verizon Man? And what about that arrowhead?

“It represents a whole new classification of prehistoric man,” says Dr. Rubble. “And because the arrowhead was made out of the same kind of rock they used to spark a fire, we’ve come up with a brand new name for this classification.”

And that is?

“The Flint-Stone Man,” answers Dr. Rubble. “Definitely a modern, stone-age family.”