“Well, I got a new job.”


“Yeah, but when I went to the job interview, someone stole my car.”

“That’s terrible.”

“I’ll say. I had just bought all these new CDs by Yngwie Malmsteen, Twila Paris and Tom Tom Club. Now they’re all gone.”

“What did they do? Break a window? Jimmy the lock?”

“Uh, no. I left the car unlocked.”

“So they just hot-wired the car and drove off, eh?”

“Uh, no. I left the keys in the ignition.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Tell me about it. I had to take the bus home. That’s when I discovered that someone had ransacked my house.”

“You’re kidding. How did they break in?”

“I must have left the back door open. They took everything. My Lucinda Williams DVDs, my tickets for Trick Pony and Sound Tribe Sector 9, even my old Flock Of Seagulls CDs. They cleaned me out.”

“Gee, Bob. I don’t know what to say. Sounds like you had a tough day.”

“That ain’t the half of it. That was the same day I got my credit card invoice. It turns out someone swiped my credit card number and charged tickets for Push Kings and Bob Carlisle.”

“Your credit card number? How did they get that?”

“I’m not sure, but it happened sometime after the credit card inspectors called.”

“Credit card inspectors?”

“Yeah. They said they needed my card number to make sure that ‘it still worked.'”

“And you just gave it to them?”

“Sure. Why not? After all, they were the credit card inspectors.”

“I’ll bet your wife was mad.”

“I haven’t told her yet. She went to Vegas with my best friend to see Goldfinger and Reel Big Fish. Then tomorrow night they’re seeing Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine.”

“You’re wife’s in Vegas with another man?”

“Not just any man. She’s with my best friend. Talk about luck, eh? If she hadn’t gone to Vegas with all that sexy underwear I bought for her from Victoria’s Secret, the thieves would have stolen that too.”

“Gosh, Bob, I don’t know what to say. Sounds like it wasn’t your lucky day.”

“I’ll say. But I did get a new job”

“That’s right. So, tell me about the new gig.”

“It’s really sweet. I’m working for the big record labels.”

“Really? Doing what?”

“I’m developing new encryption methods to prevent people from ripping CDs and distributing the songs on the Internet.”

“Well, good luck.”

“Thanks. I gotta feeling I’m gonna need it.”