“Howdy, Dr. Laura-Jo. I have these tickets for Madonna, and my wife can’t make it to the show. But her sister ain’t doing nothin’ that night, and she’s cuter than Hilary Rosen when she’s bad mouthin’ Napster.”

“Hold it right there, Billy-Bob. What kind of seats?”

“Last row, upper level.”

“And you expect wifey’s sister will want to go for a tumble in the hay with the brother-in-law, all because he has a pair of nose-bleed seats for one of this year’s hottest tours? Listen, Billy-Bob.”

“Yes, Dr. Laura-Jo?”

“Haven’t you ever heard of ticket brokers? Now get out those Yellow Pages and do the right thang.”

“But brokers are awfully expensive.”

“Don’t argue with me, Billy-Bob. If you could make up your own mind, you wouldn’t need me to tell you what to do. Now get off the phone and do the right thang. Our next caller is Betty-Jo from Salt Lick, Kentucky. What’s up, Betty-Jo?”

“I think I’m in love with our local concert promoter.”

“Really? You go, girl!”

“Yeah, but I don’t know if I should leave my husband, or see the promoter on the side.”

“Hmmm. That’s a tough one. What does your husband do for a living?”

“He’s one of those multi-level Internet marketing executives.”

“And what kind of shows is the promoter doing?”

“Well, he’s got They Might Be Giants coming up. Also Dr. John, Aimee Mann and Flickerstick.

“Doesn’t sound like much of a contest to me. Is he giving you free tickets to the shows?”

“No, but he’s giving me a break on parking fees.”

“That’s a better deal than you’ll get with one of those national promoters, Betty-Jo. Besides, everyone knows the Internet is yesterday’s news. Now go do the right thang. Lessee, we have time for one more phone call. Suzy-Bob, you’re on Trailer Talk.”

“My daughter wants to have a sleep over.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with that. Why is that a problem?”

“It’s a problem because she wants *NSYNC, Backstreet Boys and O Town to sleep over.”

“That’s not unusual. A lot of young girls fantasize about their music idols.”

“My daughter’s 38 and has been married 5 times.”

“What? Is that you, Mom? I’ve told you never to call me at work. Er, well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Be sure to join us tomorrow for more Trailer Talk. I’m Dr. Laura-Jo, and remember, if it feels good, you must be doing the right thang!”