“That reminds me, Dan, I have a joke I wanted to share with the audience.”

“Now, Dick? We’re almost out of time.”

“It’s just a little joke, Dan. It goes like this: How many concert promoters does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

“There you go again, Dick. You know you can’t say that on TV.”

“I can’t?”

“No, you can’t, Dick. Concert promoters form the economic backbone of this country. They’re responsible for bringing Seven Mary Three and Sarah Harmer to the hard-working men and women that make up this great land. If it weren’t for promoters, the fine folks of cities like Bakersfield or Las Vegas would never see MxPx and Anthrax. No, Dick, you can’t joke about promoters.”

“Uh? What do you mean, ‘I can’t joke about promoters?’ Everybody jokes about promoters.”

“That doesn’t make it right, Dick. Think of the promoters’ children. Think of what it does to them when they hear a joke like, ‘How many promoters does it take to count the box office receipts for The Bouncing Souls?'”

“You got me there, Dan. How many promoters does it take to count…”



“No promoter jokes. Period.”

“Not even the one about why the promoter crossed the road?”

“Especially not that one.”

But it’s a really good joke. You see, there were these three bands, Roomful Of Blues, Montgomery Gentry and The Bellamy Brothers, waiting on the other side, and…”

“Can it, Dick. Not another word.”

“And they were standing next to a priest, a minister and a rabbi.”


“Come on, Dan, it’s only a joke.”

“I told you, Dick, no promoter jokes. Promoter jokes are the lowest of the low. You start telling promoter jokes and pretty soon those watchdog groups like the SPCP will be on our backs. They’ll boycott our sponsors. We’ll be taken off the air.”

“The SPCP?”

“The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Promoters. Trust me, you don’t want to mess with them.”

“You mean I can’t tell one little promoter joke?”


“Not even the one about the promoter stranded on the desert island with Madonna and Janet Jackson?”

“No. Nor can you tell the one about the traveling Peter Mulvey promoter and the venue owner’s daughter. Besides, we’re running out of time.”

“Okay, no promoter jokes.”

“Good. I’m glad to see that you have finally come to your senses. Folks, that’s about all the time we have for tonight.”

“Wait a minute, Dan. I have this joke to tell the audience. Have you heard the one about how many booking agents it takes to screw in a light bulb?”

“Ha, ha, ha! I love a good booking agent joke, but I’m afraid we’re all out of time. Say goodnight, Dick.”

“Goodnight, Dick.”