“Jenny? Is everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s just that I’m filling out some papers, and I needed to ask you a few questions.”

“What kind of questions, Dear?”

“Well, what kind of music do you listen to these days?”

“That’s an easy one, Jenny. I like American Hi-Fi and Dream Theater while your father leans more towards Natalie Merchant and Ozzy Osbourne.”

“Hmmm… Osbourne… Gimme a second to write this down. And have you or Dad ever been arrested?”

“Back in the 70s I was arrested for stalking David Cassidy. But the lawyer pleaded it down to a misdemeanor and the judge put me on probation.”

“Lessee…. Stalking… Partridge… Probation… And are you and Dad planning on seeing any concerts in the next few months?”

“We haven’t made up our minds yet. Your father wants to see Travis or The Wailers and I want to see Jay Z and Harry Connick Jr. However, it all depends on how the judge rules on that road rage incident. You know, when your father and I went for that Sunday drive in the country and he got mad at those cows.”

“Uh uh. And what are your blood types?”

“We’re both Type A. Er, Jenny, can you tell me why you’re asking all these questions?”

“Yeah, sure, Mom. But let me finish this first. Have you or Dad ever been a member of the Communist Party?”

“Gee, that takes me back. That would have been around 1965. Yeah, that’s right. But we quit when Bob Dylan went electric.”

“Hmmm… Commies, yes, Dylan, electric… And are both of you naturally born citizens?”

“I am, but your father came into this country illegally from Canada. He was a donut smuggler, you know.”

“Really? I didn’t know that?”

“Yes, he would wear clothes two sizes too big and stuff the donuts in his pants. Er, Jenny, why all the questions?”

“Just one more, Mother. What CDs have you bought in the last five months?”

“Lessee, The Samples, Tori Amos and Pulp. Jenny? What’s going on? Are you compiling some kind of family tree?”

“Not exactly, Say, when Dad wakes up, do you think you could get me a sample of his hair? It’s for the DNA testing.”

“What? DNA testing? Just what is this application for, Jenny? Are you going to work for the CIA?”

“Oh, no. Nothing like that.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I’m filling out an application to sign up for one of the new online music services backed by the major record labels.”

“And those questions are on the application?”

“Yeah. They want a complete family history. It’s for their copyright security system. I guess they’re trying to weed out anyone who might pirate the songs by acts like Tracy Byrd and UK Subs and distribute them on the Net.”

“Well, good luck, Jenny. Is there anything else?”

“Just one more thing, Mom. Do you still have Grandpa’s urn?”