“Paul? Is that you?”

“Er, yeah. Please forgive me, but I just can’t place the face.”

“Nelson, Paul. Nelson Grundy. Remember me? We grew up together. Boy, wait until I tell the wife that I ran into good old Paul while waiting in line to buy Rollins Band tickets. Say, Paul, which shows are you buying tickets for? Poe? No, wait a minute, I’ll bet you’re buying tickets for that tour featuring the artists from the O Brother, Where Art Thou? motion picture soundtrack.

“Uh, no, I’m just…”

“Remember the good old days, Paul? Remember how I used to meet you every morning before school, threaten to beat you with a tire iron and take your lunch money? Remember that day I broke into your high school locker and stole your tickets for Judas Priest?”

“Oh, you’re that Nelson.”

“You bet I am, Paul. Gosh, those were great times. Like when you had that date lined up with the homecoming queen. You were going to take her to see Pete Yorn, but I showed up at her house first and told her that you had to make an unexpected trip to the free clinic. Remember that, Paul?”

“Yes, that does bring back some memories.”

“Hey, Paul, I’ll bet you don’t remember the time me and the boys grabbed you, stripped off your clothes and made you run naked through the cafeteria singing Barry Manilow songs? Uh? Remember that? Remember what everyone called you after that?”

“Uh, I’ve tried not to.”

“‘Small Paul,’ everyone called you ‘Small Paul.’ Yeah, those were the good old days. Gosh, I can still remember the first time I broke your nose. I wanted your Bryan Adams tickets, but you weren’t going to give them up. That is, until I used the old five knuckle discount. So, what are you doing these days? Me? I’m a proctologist.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“And here we are after all these years, standing in line at Ticketmaster. But that’s enough about me. What are you doing here? Are you buying tickets for Candy Snatchers? Or are you planning on seeing The Blockheads and Oysterband?”

“Uh, neither. I’m a concert promoter and I’m just checking to see how tickets for Neil Diamond and Elton John are selling.”

“Really? A concert promoter, eh? Say, Paul, I don’t suppose you could give me some free tickets. You know, for old times sake?”