“Lessee… Flak jacket, helmet, stun gun…”

“Hi, Frank. What’s up.”

“Oh, hi, Rob. Just packing a few things. Hmmm… I think I’m going to need more pepper spray.”

“Pepper spray? Don’t you think you’re being just a tad too paranoid?”


“Every time you go to check out the bands, you act like the whole world is out to get you.”

“I do not. Uh, could you pass me that pair of steel-mesh underwear?”

“Yeah, sure, here you go. But what about when you booked that Slipknot concert? You know, when you insisted that the promoter undergo a full-cavity search before you’d okay the deal?”

“You never can be too careful. Have you seen my water purification tablets?”

“Over on the counter. Or what about that time when you were discussing the tour routing with Neil Diamond? I mean, three bodyguards?”

“That’s only because the agency wouldn’t spring for four. Better to err on the side of caution. Uh, could you hand me my armored sports jacket? It’s hanging in the closet.”

“Right. Wow! This must way a ton. Hey, didn’t I see you wearing this at the Anne Murray concert?”

“Uh, uh. You gotta watch those Canadians. Them and their damn hockey sticks.”

“That’s my point, Frank. I know the president said we have to be on our guard, but I think you’re overreacting. Stun guns at the Genitorturers show, flash grenades at Santana and Westlife. Look, I don’t know how to say this, but have you ever considered professional help?”

“You mean, like a couple of National Guardsmen?”


“Okay, okay. I admit, that maybe I’m a little too cautious sometimes.”


“Okay, most of the time. But it’s a different world out there, Rob. This is no time to take chances.”

“Maybe so, but you’re a booking agent. You deal with Kottonmouth Kings, Chris Whitley and Simple Minds all day. You don’t need to worry about terrorists.”

“Oh, I’m not worried about terrorists, Rob.”

“You’re not?”

“Oh, no. You see, Guns ‘N Roses scratched their European tour.”

“Yeah, I heard. Something about the album not being ready. Hey, wait a minute. You don’t mean…”

“That’s right. The boss says I have to talk Axl into changing his mind about the postponements.”

“Oh… Uh, Frank?”


“Are you sure one flak jacket is enough?”