Features
Tours de Farce: Giving Our Business The Business
We’re talking extreme attitude modification. The century of the Me-Decade is past. Say goodbye to that self-centered materialistic fortune-hunting, more money, less work, get all you can for as little effort as possible tour date researcher philosophy that’s guided this work staff since 1931, and welcome the new and improved Pollstar.com work ethic for 2002.
We’re tired of sittin’ on our duffs and grouchin’ about the dot-com slump. We’re through blamin’ these hard times on a lackluster economy. We’re rolling up our sleeves and giving 110 percent for each date we enter for Elton John, Neil Diamond and Janet Jackson. From now on we’re dedicating every waking moment to making Pollstar.com the epitome of free content on the Web.
You see, we’ve had our very own revelation on the Road to Damascus. We realize that it’s not enough to punch the twelve hour time clock and process schedules for D.R.I. and Rockapella until the final whistle blows. As of this day we will forgo our personal gratification, our multiple donut breaks and super-model conjugal visits. Instead, we’ll work as a team to transform Pollstar.com into the most invincible piece of Web real estate in the universe.
Our newly embraced pseudo-philosophy is simple. If we work harder and gather more dates for artists like Eddie Money and bands like GWAR and Desaparecidos, our employers will profit. And if our employers profit, we’ll get more dates for Diana Krall and The Clarks. We’ll be riding on their coattails all the way to the bank. But not before we put our already-bloodied noses to the proverbial grindstone and feel cartilage burn all the way to our back sinus cavities as we work on tours for Fred J. Eaglesmith and The Breeders ’till we drop in our tracks, exhausted, beaten and spent. And then we’ll get up and do it all over again. Why? Because we must in order to make Pollstar.com the best damn Web company the world has ever seen.
But first we’re going to talk to our employers about added vacation benefits. Plus, we’re gonna need a raise. You know, a couple of extra carrots to dangle in front of our noses for when the going really gets tough. Otherwise we’ll be forced to walk across the street and see what the other tour date Websites have to offer. We know that sounds completely self-serving and totally shortsighted. But, hey, that’s business.
And we’ve been covering the concert industry long enough to understand what business is all about.