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Tours de Farce: Sweet Tooth
It’s when my son and I gather around the computer and look up tour dates on Pollstar.com. I sit him up on my knee and show him the routings for Sandi Patty and Judas Priest. I show him how to search the database for Jeff Carson, Concrete Blonde and Santana, and I give him a few tips on how to sort by city for Tab Benoit. Yeah, real quality time.
Of course we have a few snacks to keep us going. Gotta stoke that human furnace, you know. So we munch on Krispy Kremes while looking at the schedule for Tony Rice, gobble some Famous Amos cookies while browsing the latest dates for Le Tigre and we chew a few Milk Duds while searching the major markets like New York, Los Angeles and Fresno. Maybe next week I’ll show him how the “surrounding cities” feature works. Yes, I definitely think he’s ready.
Now some of you might think that there are better things for a father and his son to do than spend each and every Saturday calling up tour itineraries for Gilby Clarke, Lonesome River Band and Chad Brock. I’ve heard it all before, about how I should spend Saturdays taking my boy to soccer practice, or how I should go down to the ice rink and beat the tar out of his hockey coach. They say that’s what being a father is all about.
But they’ll never know what it’s like to watch your son search for Love Seed Mama Jump dates for the very first time. Or that magical moment when I showed my son the proper way to eat a Hostess Cupcake while we were looking at the new dates for 4 Him. These are moments to remember. Moments when a father and son connect, and I wouldn’t trade these days for anything. Not even a $226 ticket for Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. Hmmm… Well, almost anything.
And now another Saturday is upon us. My boy just woke up and in a few minutes he’ll come downstairs and join his daddy at the computer. I think we’ll start off with the new Mushroomhead, tour, followed by Elton John’s United Kingdom dates, and then I’ll show him the new schedule for Flickerstick. Plus, I’ve got a big plate filled with cakes and candies along with a heaping pile of frosted donuts and a bowl filled with sugar to dip them in. Yeah, today is gonna be special, just like every Saturday.
But I gotta admit, there has been something bothering me of late. It’s been on my mind as we eat one cupcake after another while checking out the Jim Lauderdale schedule. I was thinking about it as my son and I popped M&Ms into our mouths while looking up Plus One and Ronnie Milsap. And I couldn’t get my mind off of it while we were prying open another crate of Twinkies to go along with the latest shows for Anders Parker Of Varnaline. Yes, no matter how much I try, I just can’t get it out of my head. So, let me ask you;
At what age should you give a boy his first set of dentures?