“Coming right up. Say, haven’t I seen you before? Aren’t you…”

“That’s right. I’m the former CEO of Enron.”

“I saw your wife on TV the other day. I didn’t realize things were that bad.”

“You don’t know the half of it. Heck, if I’m not dodging a 60 Minutes camera crew, I’m getting kicked by little old ladies. On top of that, I’m selling everything I own.”

“That’s gotta be tough.”

“Oh, it is. Just the other day I had to sell my home in Hawaii so I could afford to see Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young.”

“Wait a minute. Those tickets aren’t that expensive.”

“No, but transportation is. Jet fuel ain’t cheap, you know.”

“No, I guess not.”

“And later this month I’m going to see one of those Concerts for Artists Rights shows. You know, the one featuring The Eagles, Billy Joel, Sheryl Crow and John Fogerty? Had to sell the yacht for that one.”

“I’ll bet that wasn’t easy.”

“Plus, John Hiatt, Kid Rock and Cliff Richard all have new dates. I think I’m gonna have to have another garage sale. Maybe sell a couple of my old Bentleys.”

“There you go.”

“And the wife wants to fly to Europe to see Garbage. I’m going to have to take a part-time job for that one.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m thinking about signing on with one of those charter fishing boats as a deck hand.”

“That should bring in some change.”

“It should, but if I get the job, I won’t be able to go to Dick Cheney’s big party this weekend.”

“The Vice President is having a party? I hear he puts on quite a spread.”

“Oh, Dick rocks. And this time it’s a retro theme. He has Chuck Berry playing on the lawn. The Monkees will be on the veranda and Vanilla Ice by the pool.

“Wow.”

“And the entire mansion is supposed to be like one big flashback – lava lamps, mood rings for the guests, additional pink flamingos in the front yard – the whole nine yards.”

“Sounds like a great time.”

“Yeah, and it would give me a chance to wear my old bell bottoms and platform shoes again. But I can’t do both. I can’t work the deckhand job if I’m at the party. And I so want to go to the party. I guess I’m going to have to make a decision.”

“You don’t mean…”

“Uh uh. I’m going to have to decide whether I want to kitsch or cut bait.”