“That makes me so mad. This happened the other night when I was going to see Cake. We don’t have time to hit another ATM. I don’t suppose you have any cash on you? Oh, I don’t know. A twenty should do it.

“Don’t you just love going to concerts? Next month I’m seeing Janis Ian and Local H and… and… Oh, oh. I forgot to buy gas. I don’t suppose you have a credit card, do you?

“Well, we’re running a little late, but we should still get there before the show starts. I’m really looking forward to tonight’s concert. Yeah, I go to all the shows. Work all day, see bands like Oasis, Rasputina and Widespread Panic every night. Sure, it gets expensive, but it’s well worth it, and I’ve got three bankruptcies under my belt to prove it. Oh, here’s the parking lot. Say, I don’t suppose you’d have another twenty, would you? My ATM was down, remember?

“I’ve been waiting weeks for this show. Do you know the tickets were sold out five minutes after they went on sale? The promoter said they sold faster than Cher and The Rolling Stones combined. That reminds me. We better start looking for someone who has a couple of extra tickets. Wait a sec. There’s one, now. I don’t suppose you have a couple of hundreds in your purse, do you?

“Well, that’s okay. I understand. I know where there’s this path behind the amphitheatre. We’ll just walk over there and hop the fence, just like I did for Poison and Jimmy Buffett. Would have seen Joey McIntyre, too, but the security guard caught me and I spent the night in jail, and… and…

“Wait a second! Don’t go! Come back! It’s going to be a great show. We can stand out here in the parking lot and listen to it. It’ll be fun. Please come back.

“Okay, be that way. You’re going to miss a great concert. But before you go, there’s something I have to say to you…

“Happy Mother’s day, Mom!”