Features
Tours de Farce: A Bona Fide Success!
Combining the idealist optimism of the Peace Corp with the business aptitude and keen competitiveness found in the concert industry, ConcertCorp has already improved the concert infrastructure in several third-world nations, thus opening up future secondary markets for acts such as Oasis and Neil Finn.
“We go where others fear to tread,” says Captain Wilton Parmenter, leader of one of ConcertCorp’s numerous advance teams currently stationed in one the world’s trouble spots. “These people didn’t even have running water four weeks ago, but now they have a 20,000 seat amphitheatre with Journey and Indigo Girls kicking off their summer season.”
Other success stories abound. Like the tribal farming co-op that learned it was more profitable to lease their land to an international promoter in return for a one-night-only appearance by Cher, and the Vans Warped Tour introducing hi-tech athletic footwear to indigenous Amazon River tribesman. Needless to say, it’s guaranteed that the citizens of war-torn Mazar-e-Sharif will remember Britney Spears performance, as well as her exciting wardrobe changes, for years to come.
After seeing the effects of ConcertCorp’s fine work, such as teaching Tajikistan nomads how to compute service charges for Bob Dylan, or showing Central American farmers the proper way to construct and maintain ticket turnstiles in preparation for performances by Joey McIntyre and the
“It can seem a bit overwhelming at times,” says Captain Parmenter. “But we have a saying at ConcertCorp. Give a man a Rolling Stones ticket and he’ll rock and roll all night. Teach him how to manage a 15,000 seat sports arena, book Poison or Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers and charge $20 parking fees, and he will party every day!”