“Well, look who’s back. Hey, Phil!”

“Hi, Harry.”

“How’s the newlywed life treating you?”

“It’s okay. I guess.”

“You guess? Sounds like the honeymoon is over.”

“Yeah, well, between you and me, we have had some problems.”

“You wanna talk about it, Phil?”

“I don’t quite know how to say this, but it’s… it’s concerts.”


“Yeah. She thinks I buy too many concert tickets.”

“That can be a problem when you’re just starting out.”

“But she knew how much I loved concerts before she married me. Neil Diamond, Deep Banana Blackout, you name a show and I’m there.”

“I understand, Phil, but things change when you get married.”

“You’re telling me. For instance, you should have heard the way she screamed at me on the second night of our honeymoon when I told her that Little Feat was in town.”

“Your second night together? Well, I can see her point.”

“And on the third night she threw a champagne bottle at me when I said The Knack was playing up the street.”

“That can hurt.”

“Then on the fourth night she pulled out her pepper spray and let me have it between the eyes for even wondering if there were still tickets available for The Rolling Stones.”

“I gotta admit, I’ve been wondering about that, too.”

“Heck, the way she’s been acting, I didn’t dare mention Marcus Miller, Acoustic Syndicate or Eagles. No telling what she’d do.”

“Well, Phil, it sounds like you definitely have some issues to work out.”

“That’s for sure. Say, Harry, you’ve been married for a while. Any suggestions?”

“I might have an idea or two. Which show do you want to see next?”

“I’m not sure. I was thinking of either Bob Dylan or Robert Plant.”

“Fine. First off, buy a dozen long-stem roses.”

“Roses? Gotcha.”

“Then buy a fine bottle of wine. Perhaps a 1955 Lafite Rothschild, or a 1966 Haut Brion. Something classy.”

Wine, check.”

“Then when you walk into the house at the end of the day, you first give her the flowers, then the wine, and after a couple of glasses, you tell her about the concert.”

“And that works?”

“Believe me, I’ve never known a woman who could refuse a dozen roses, a good bottle of wine and a pair of tickets for a great show like Alanis Morissette or Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Trust me, Phil. It works.”

“Yeah, but…”

“But what?”

“You mentioned the roses, a bottle of wine and a pair of tickets.”

“Well, yeah. So?”

“What’s this business about buying two tickets?”