Features
Tours de Farce: Phone Phun
We have a lot of information to pass your way, so let’s get busy!
First off, we received new dates for Wilco, Neil Halstead and Zao. That reminds us, we should also mention… Oh, oh, there’s the phone. This will just take a second.
“Thank you for calling Pollstar.com. What’s that? You want to know about the Dolly Parton tour? Huh? No, the shows are not for ‘adults only.’ That’s right. Anyone can go. You’re welcome. Thank you for calling Pollstar.com.”
Okay, where were we? Oh, yeah. We wanted to mention that Third Eye Blind will be appearing with the Goo Goo Dolls on several dates this summer, Meredith Brooks is touring with Melissa Etheridge, and Jo Dee Messina will be warming up the audiences for George Strait. We’d also like to tell you about… Whoops! There’s the phone again. Just a sec, okay?
“Thank you for calling Pollstar.com. What? No, there isn’t an age limit for the Britney Spears concert. What’s that? A quiet room for adults? You’ll have to call the venue. Thanks for calling. Bye, bye.”
Okay, back to business. Coal Chamber has a new string of shows, with American Head Charge, Flaw and
“Thank you for calling Pollstar.com. What? Superjoint Ritual at the 9:30 Club in Washington, DC, tomorrow night? What’s that? Will they be checking I.D.? Probably. After all, it is a nightclub. No problemo, that’s what we’re here for. Thanks for calling.”
One more thing we want to mention is that there is a gigantic blues festival happening at the end of the first week of July in Ottawa. It’s called the
“Thank you for calling Poll… Oh, it’s you. What do you want this time? Look, can’t you figure it out yourself? Most nightclub shows are for adults. Arena shows are all ages. If you’re not sure, call the freakin’ venue. You got that? Oh, yeah? Same to you. Sheesh.”
Oh, gosh, we didn’t mean for you to hear that. All of us here at Pollstar.com are really very friendly and we try to help out as much as we can. In fact, we pride ourselves on going that extra mile for all of our Pollstar.com users, and we really didn’t mean to snap at that caller like that. It’s just that… that… Well, there really isn’t any nice way to put this…
But we’re starting to wish we never gave our number out to R. Kelly.