I spend my days grabbing dogs off of the street and throwing them in the back of my truck. Dobermans, Pekinese, Keeshonds, you name them and I’ve nabbed them. So, to keep my mind off of my job, I think of concerts.

For instance, while I’m grabbing some mutt in an alley, I’ll run the dates for the Creed through my mind. I’ll wonder about Cher’s set list as I net a poodle outside a Wal-Mart, or I’ll guess at who’s opening for The Rolling Stones, as I’m caging a collie in the park. And Afghans always make me think of Alanis Morissette.

Take today, for example. I’m chasing after a Lab, and while hopping over hedges and trying to get a bead on him with my tranquilizer gun, I’m figuring out the service charge on a pair of Eagles tickets. After I bring him down, and right before I scoop him up in the net, I’m trying to decide which credit card to use to buy seats for Moby. And as I’m tossing him into the truck, all the while keeping the little girl who owns the mutt from kicking me in the shins, I’m deciding between floor and balcony seats for Sonic Youth. Yeah, thinking about concerts really helps when you have a job as depressing as mine.

So, if you have a depressing job, try thinking about concerts, like Goo Goo Dolls or Dolly Parton. After all, no matter what you do for a living, you just can’t let the work get you down. You gotta look on the bright side of life, make lemonade out of lemons, and smile, smile, smile. Take it from me. Thinking about shows like Butthole Surfers and George Strait can really lift your spirits when you have a job as depressing as mine.

In fact, if it wasn’t for this dog hobby of mine, I’d go nuts.