“Yes, I looked behind the toilet.”

“Then what about under the bed? That’s where you left the Supertramp tickets, remember?”

“I looked twice. They’re not under the bed.”

“What about the dresser? Did you look in the underwear drawer? After all, that’s where you kept the tickets for that Bonnie Raitt / Lyle Lovett co-headline.”

“No, they’re not in the underwear drawer. But I did find those tickets for Slayer that I thought I lost. They were sandwiched in between your bras and my truss. Now if I could only find tonight’s tickets.”

“Washer and dryer?”

“Checked and double-checked. Even the lint catcher. I just can’t remember where I left the tickets.”

“Well, I checked the bird house in the backyard, the garage and the mailbox, but no tickets for tonight’s show. However, I did find two ticket stubs for Jimmy Buffett.”

“That was a great concert.”

“Plus the souvenir programs for the John Mellencamp and Britney Spears concerts that we saw last month.”

“Really? I was looking all over the house for those things. I figured they might be collector’s items some day.”

“Maybe, but right now you should focus on the present. I can’t understand why you keep misplacing our concert tickets. You left the Patty Griffin tickets in the coffee maker, the Aerosmith tickets in the dishwasher and the tickets for Pere Ubu and Galactic in the cat box. I’ll bet you’re not this disorganized at work.”

“Don’t get on my case. At least we found them.”

“Let’s retrace your steps. You came home from Ticketmaster.”


“You walked in the house.

“Walked into the house…”

“And you put the tickets…”

“And I put the tickets… I got it!”

“Where are you going?”

“Out back on the patio. Yep, here they are, right where I left them. Under the propane tank for the gas BBQ grill.”

“What? You left the concert tickets under the propane tank?”

“Yep. Right next to my FBI badge, gun and handcuffs.”

“Well, at least you found them. Let’s go.”

“Yeah, sure. Uh… Honey? Have you seen my car keys?”