“Yes, but…”

“But what?”

“This sub-paragraph on page 419, where it states, that no matter what happens – death, dismemberment, divorce, whatever – I must refrain from seeing any concert for the rest of my life.”

“That’s just to establish who’s boss in this relationship, George. Nothing to worry about.”

“But I love concerts, Alice. I’m not just a tour accountant, I’m also a fan. I love seeing Collin Raye and Our Lady Peace.”

“Look, George, here’s the deal. You can spend the rest of your life counting beans for Biohazard, Maxwell, and, well, I don’t know, even Chumbawamba. Or you can sign that prenup, marry me and spend the rest of your life showered in riches beyond belief. Not to mention the sex.”

“Sex?”

“Page 519 where it says that we’ll make love at least 30 times per day, in every position imaginable.”

“Every position? Including the KORN position?”

“Especially that position. Plus the Fresno Drive-By position and that David Lee Roth thing we saw in that movie. You know, with the chandelier, rope and the hairpiece? So, what do you say, George? You want to sign that prenup, marry me and live a life that other tour accountants can only dream of?”

“Let me see if I got this straight. If I sign this prenup and marry you, we’ll spend the rest of our lives traveling the world and making love almost every minute of every day.”

“I’m promising you a world of riches and erotic escapades that no other man has ever experienced, George. All you have to do is sign that prenup. What do you say?”

“But I can’t see any concerts.”

“That’s right, George. Just sex and money for the rest of your life, but no concerts like Neil Diamond or Morrissey. What do you say?”

“Well, uh.”

“George!! What do you say?”

“Uh, have a nice life, Alice.”