We’re sure that the majority of our readers would throw back their heads and cackle like a one-legged rooster upon hearing that question. “Hey, Ethel? Some idjit’s asking about the tour dates again! Ha! Ha! Ha! Whassamatta with you, man? Were you born clueless?”

But we realize that what may be totally obvious to us might also be dark and oblique to those who have never walked the streets of Fresno with a firm grasp upon the joy and inner contentment brought about by a fresh schedule for Phantom Planet or additional shows for Elvis Costello and Brad Paisley. For all these listings that we bring to you more days than not are filled with the hopes and dreams of those who know that a simple notation, such as Kid Rock at the DTE Energy Music Theatre on September 13, is often the deciding factor between joy and sorrow, faith and disbelief, Leno and Letterman.

The annals of this company are filled with the miracles and revelations sparked by discoveries of new tours for Blue Rodeo and The Exile Follies, and it shows in each and every employee who has ever had the pleasure to sit down in one of our cubicles and pound out the magical data combination of date, city, state and venue that gives meaning to this community known as the raisin capital of the world.

The multitudes gather outside our gates each and every morning in hopes of catching a glimmer of the Indigo Girls routing or a sneak at the agenda for the Better Than Ezra / Cowboy Mouth co-headline. Arms outstretched, hands opened wide, they’re voices rising up in that familiar chant of “gimmee, gimmee, gimmee,” they know that the concert info contained within these walls is the basis for all intellectual thought as well as bodily fulfillment. We live! We love! We have dates for Alanis Morissette, Morrissey and The Amazing Kreskin! We are alive!

Why tour dates? Why even ask? Why should anyone even contemplate such a question when the answer can be easily be found in the blank stares and preposterous rants of our fellow Fresnoids? No matter if it’s the routing for James Cotton or the timetable revisions for Epidemic and Unloco, just as tour dates guide us through our daily lives, they can also be your transcendental road to that light at the end of the metaphysical tunnel. After all, what could be better than having the routings for Cracker, The Cruxshadows and Cher in front of your very eyes?

Except maybe buying a membership to our upcoming new service entitled “Pollstar Premium,” where for a small monthly fee we’ll deliver more delight and happiness than legally allowed in most states. Details soon.