“At the same time? That must have cost you.”

“Nah, I just dipped into the kids’ junior high school education money. Like they even have a chance of getting in, you know? Anyway, my brother told me that George Dubya wants to give certain churches money to help the ticketless, and that would help lower prices for No Doubt and Pork Tornado.”

“Your brother said that?”

“Either my brother or brother-in-law. Sometimes it’s tough keeping those bloodlines straight.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

“What’s your opinion on that, Rush? Tell us what we should think.”

“I don’t know if I like the idea of giving guv’ment handouts to all the different churches that just happen to sell concert tickets, Jimmy-John. I mean, some of them aren’t like the ones good people like you and I go to for tickets for O.A.R. Heck, some of them couldn’t handle a snake if it slithered up into their laps and bit ’em on the schnozola. Well, I see we have time for one more phone call. Elvis Pyle from Bug Splatt, Maine, you’re on the air.”

“I’ll bet you didn’t know that the roadies for GWAR and Galactic are part of the New World Order and are controlled by space aliens masquerading as employees of Clear Channel Entertainment.”

“Sorry, Elvis, but this is Rush Jimbo. You want the Art Bell-Boy Show. He’s up next.”