We dare not understate the importance of the new tours.
This could be the most important day of your life. The day you read the schedules for Dan Bern and Dub Syndicate. For the new tours are more than just a few dates in chronological order in an easy-to-read font. The tours bring courage to those who know how to use it. Real men and women, leaders all, start each and every day off with a new tour.
Go ahead. Click on the schedule for Coil in Europe, The Music in Japan or Noggin Toboggan in Fresno. Feel the power radiate from the screen, the sizzle as the energy moves along your optic nerve and impacts your frontal lobe. With Queens Of The Stone Age and Nickelback firing across the synapses, you’ll feel like a winner. Feel the rush as you grok the Counting Crows’ October 21st date in Chicago. Feel the absolute power, the erotic sexuality of 22 Neil Diamond dates scrolling down your screen. Your heart pounds to Me’Shell NdegéOcello. Your senses explode in pleasure unimaginable with the United Kingdom routing for Alice Cooper.
As you move closer to the screen to see Sparta and Bob Dylan, your entire body starts to vibrate. Yes! You will make this day matter! You will go for the gold, grab the brass ring and go for the gusto! It’s Katastrophy Wife, Particle and Franklin’s Magic Fiddle. It means you’re in control, you’re in the driver’s seat, you shall lead while others follow, you will be victorious! Carpe Diem! Seize the day!
And be sure to tell us all about it tomorrow. We’re going back to bed.