No other Website can make that claim. That’s what makes us different. We dare to say what others only dream of.

For instance, this is the only Website that can make the claim that each single date, such as in Houston on October 14, is prepared in a hermetically sealed room and arrives on your monitor untouched by human hands. Can those other sites say that? They wish. Heck, they don’t even have soap in their washrooms.

Sure, other Websites might have some dates for The Rolling Stones or Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, but can they say that they’re working on a cure for cancer or that their researchers are developing fat-free french fries? For not only do we make the claims that other Websites refuse to make, but we’ll even go them one better by talking of future announcements that are currently in the planning stage. Yes, someday we’ll announce that looking at the Joe Cocker schedule can prevent the heartbreak of psoriasis, that reading the dates for Neil Diamond and Prince can lower your cholesterol by 99 percent and that by clicking on Nickelback, Karrin Allyson or Donny Osmond, you’ll be totally impervious to pain and be able to leap tall amphitheatres in a single bound. You’ll never see those other Websites make anything near those claims.

We do it because we live in an information-soaked universe. Too many advertisements over too many years has made everyone cautious and skeptical of new claims of “new and improved” products and offers described as “too good to be true.” That’s why we keep coming up with new, stupendous claims in regards to our tour dates, such as our claim that the dates for Pat Martino and Yes will not only keep you warm at night, but will also make you feel loved and wanted in this cold cruel world. Furthermore, just when you think that you’re starting to see though one of our empty promises, we’ll come up with an even better, new and improved claim, like the will lead one to eternal youth, or Tool can prevent stomach acid reflux.

So remember, for tour dates, like the ones for Nelly, Fountains Of Wayne and The Ataris, keep your browser bookmarked on For in the new millennium, it’s not what you do that counts, it’s what you say that really matters.

Gee, we couldn’t have said it better ourselves.