Rocko here. Customer service rep for Pollstar.com.
Ya know, we’ve been getting more than our share of emails and phone calls asking what’s shakin’ since the word hit the streets that my friend, Tony Pollstar, has taken over the family business. Sure, they wanna know about the new features like the Pollstar.com forums and classified ads, but more importantly, they wanna know about the tour dates. To be pacific, they wanna know if the recent family shakeup will in anyway stop this Website from posting the latest dates for Yngwie Malmsteen, Phil Vassar and Lords Of Acid. Or as Tony sez; “They wanna know which side of the tracks their bread is buttered on.”
Anyway, you can stop your worrying, cause my pal Tony has it all under control, for the big guy sez that everything is gonna be business as usual. We’re gonna keep listing the latest dates for artist like Tracy Chapman and bands like Guster and Emerson Drive, because, after all, that’s what we’re good at. Besides, this joint has been a family operation since 1931, and like Tony sez, “The family that preys together, stays together.”
But there are going to be some changes, or as Tony sez, “enhancements.” For example, starting tomorrow, not only will you be able to see the latest additions to the routings for Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and Flickerstick, but we’ll also list the point spread for Monte Montgomery, Eddy Raven and The Jeff Healey Band, as well as the vig on BR549 and The Celtic Tenors. So stop your belly achin’ or you just might be wakin’ up next to Trigger some night. Or as Tony sez; “Ya don’t wanna be lookin’ a gift horse in the house.”
But we’d be lying if we didn’t say that there were a few problems with the takeover. For instance, the Rastafarians down in the reggae & world music department who keep track of the dates for acts like Boukman Eksperyans and Orquesta Aragon kicked up their heels and threatened to publish a book detailin’ how Tony hijacked… er… took control of all the tour date operations. But Tony had a little talk with them. Told them that business is business and that they’d be better off keeping their noses to themselves. Needless to say, there won’t be any book now that Tony’s showed them the error of their days.
Or like Tony sez; “Dread men sell no tales.”